SUNSHINE AURA – self-esteem. self-love. self-actualization. 

There is nothing more disheartening than trying your absolute best – and failing. You do the work: studying, research, reading, listening to podcasts, attending training, talking with people who know more than you. You carve out the time to plan, practice, move, train, think, write, listen, dream, visualize.

But you still aren’t getting results.

This is where panic sets in. Sorrow. Anger. Second thoughts. Wishes for an easier path.

This is where most people in your situation quit. Are you going to quit?

There’s no shame in quitting, by the way. Believe me: I’ve been there. I’m there right now. I’ve told myself almost every day to just quit and go back to my normal, quiet, comfortable, happy life. I desperately want to do that. But I can’t. I know in my heart I can’t.

You know you can’t quit, either.

So where do you go from here? What do you do when you aren’t getting results?

Albert Einstein is attributed with saying: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

This is where it gets really tough. This is where you sit down and take a hard, honest look at yourself. You review everything you have done up to this point and you ask yourself these questions:

1. Have I truly done everything I could possibly do to solve this problem?
2. Am I truly looking for solutions? Or, am I looking for excuses to give up on this?
3. Am I asking too much of myself, or of others?
4. Is it possible I’m doing something wrong? If so, what is it I’m doing incorrectly?
5. Am I pushing too hard for an instant, radical change, when I should really be implementing small, incremental changes?
6. Should I ask for help? If so, who can help me? (btw – getting help is hard for those of us who are used to doing everything ourselves, but sometimes it’s necessary)

This is just a starter list, but these might be all you need. If we’re being honest, I sometimes find myself in the category of realizing I’m not really open to or looking for solutions. Rather, I’m waiting or hoping for something to happen that forces a solution. I’m embarrassed to admit that, but it’s true.

So, start with that list of questions and see if any truths reveal themselves to you. And if you still feel a bit hopeless and lost, it might be time to seek professional help. There’s no shame in asking for help and getting another opinion or perspective. Seeking out friends is another great option, but be honest with yourself about whether or not they are equipped to truly provide direction on your problem.

Avoid doom scrolling or looking up too much online. There’s so much content these days, and not all of it is factual. You also run the risk of seeing everyone else’s “highlight reel” and feeling like your life is just a B-list film with a shoddy script.

Try doing nothing. Sometimes you just need to decompress. You’ll be amazed by how many solutions present themselves when you choose to just let go.

Strive to stay in the present moment. Here in the present, everything is good! Thinking too much on your problems keeps you stuck in the past, reliving what went wrong, or traps you in an anxiety loop about what could go wrong in the future. Stay right here! If you have to remind yourself every 5 seconds to stay in the present, then so be it. Relentlessly stay in the present.

If you have done all the above and you still aren’t getting the result you want, then it might be time to just quit. There ain’t no shame in quitting, especially if your search to tackle this problem is bringing you nothing but misery and hopelessness.

Hang in there, ask the hard questions, and set yourself up for success with help from an outside source. Don’t be afraid to give up if that’s the only thing left to do. This might sound like reverse-advice, but I’m learning not everything is meant for us and sometimes it’s okay to cut your losses and move on.

Good luck, and may the solutions you seek find you first!

With love,
Kayla