SUNSHINE AURA – self-esteem. self-love. self-actualization. 

As February comes to a close, this is an excellent time to reflect on the traditional month of love.

What role did love play in your life this past month? Did you focus on loving your partner, your kids, your pets, strangers, and yourself? Did it feel like anything was missing? February can bring up many feelings for people, both negative and positive. It’s OK if you weren’t really feeling all the warm fuzzies these past few weeks.

Earlier this month, I wrote a post about The Dark Side of Self-Love. Now, I wanted to bring it full circle and write a companion post about The Light Side of Self-Love.

Many of you might not have the best relationship with yourselves. You may struggle with body image issues, procrastination, shame, guilt, regret, imposter syndrome, and the list goes on. Let me be the first to welcome you into this safe space!

In the alternative, it’s possible you’ve come a long way on your self-love journey, and you are already doing a great job of having integrity with yourself, authentically being who you are, respecting yourself, and advocating for the treatment you deserve. No matter where you are on your journey, you are welcome and you belong here!

As someone who grew up not loving herself at all, I understand the struggle. For years, I felt I was living in the shadow of others, I was horribly embarrassed by the way I looked, and I longed to be someone else completely. That may be a bit too much information, but I want you to know, I get it. This is also a good time to add that I am not a licensed therapist, and if you are having overwhelming feelings and need help, please do seek support! There are all kinds of resources out there for therapy, and my posts (this one included) are from the POV of my own experiences. Please seek the help of a professional should you need it.

No matter where you are in your journey, you can benefit from learning about the light side of self-love. Self-love is the foundation from which you can build everything you desire to feel, have, and achieve in your life. Perhaps the most important thing self-love gives you is self-respect. The way you speak to yourself matters. Telling yourself over and over again the ways in which you’ve failed or reminding yourself of your shortcomings has no benefit to your life. That only breeds more shame, guilt, and regret. Speaking to yourself with kindness and understanding creates grace that only you can give to yourself. Grace sees past failure, and instead lovingly embraces it, whispering for you to pick yourself up and try again.

Another benefit from the light side of self-love is acceptance. Love, in my opinion, does not need to be unconditional. Setting conditions for the love you will accept from others and your own self is important. It tells the world and your inner voice what is acceptable, and what is not. For instance, you might make it known you will only be spoken to in a calm tone and with respect. Similar to the point made above, you will not accept belittling, name-calling, shaming, or outright criticism unintended to help you grow. Instead, you could let it be known you expect to be spoken to with kind words, understanding, and patience. In this way, you will ensure that everything about you – the positives, the quirks, and the improvements you need to make – are met with understanding and love. And this is even more important in how you approach your relationship with yourself!

The last, but certainly not least, benefit in the light side of self-love is giving yourself permission to take a break and recharge. We exert so much of our beautiful energy to help others and interact with the world around us. Sometimes the interactions are positive, and other times they are negative. Feeling drained and burnt out is unfortunately a common way of life in our modern-day society. We greet each other and share how overworked, tired, and stressed we are as if it’s a badge of honor. There is a time for working to that level, but it’s generally not all the time. Give yourself a break. That doesn’t mean you have to give up, it just means you give yourself time. Time to sit and do nothing, time to sit and do something you enjoy, time to do something completely solo, and time to rejuvenate alone. So many of us bend and bend until we break into so many pieces, when all we really needed was to willingly take a little break!

Overall, there are so many benefits and light sides to self-love – enough to fill several blog posts! – but I have chosen the ones I think are most important for you here. To recap: developing self-respect, acceptance, and permission to take breaks are three of the most important aspects of self-love. Taking these actions will greatly improve the way you see yourself, and even the world around you. Any foundation must be built on something solid. You are the most important person in your life, and you must invest in working to improve the way you relate to yourself each day. You need to see all the wonderful things you bring to the table and champion yourself.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and feel free to leave a comment about any other light sides of self-love you can think of! I’d love to read them.

With love,

Kayla