SUNSHINE AURA – self-esteem. self-love. self-actualization. 

Have you ever been about to take a leap of faith, and you thought to yourself, ‘that’s not me – I can’t do that?’

Have you ever made the decision to say no, then instantly felt a little tug in your gut, a pang of regret, followed by the voice in your head asking, ‘why didn’t you just try?’

I am not talking about situations where you truly felt unsafe or your intuition nudged you to get out. I am talking about situations that require us to go outside of who we know ourselves to be and to take a chance on something (maybe even someone) new, where we know the outcome has the potential to be really good for us. The potential to help us grow, change, and even to get to the next level we desire to reach.

People are very good storytellers. We begin young and we do it our entire lives. We constantly have an internal dialogue running alongside what our senses pick up externally, and this creates a long-woven story providing the foundation of our lives. We interpret our interactions with other people, our successes and failures, and the information we take in all around us to decide who we are and what is expected of us. We become a specific character, and we box ourselves in to fit that same narrative over and over again, ignoring intuitive nudges and desires that bubble up, begging for a new story arc.

Maybe you’re the fearless one. You’re known to be an adventurer, always taking chances, leading the team to victory, handling any conflict that arises out there. Or perhaps you’re the gentle one, always looking for ways to anticipate the needs of others and cater to other people’s every desire. You might even be the one who sits on the sidelines, feeling like you’ve never been picked from the time you played kickball on the playground, through your current position on a team at work. Whatever your experience, your life is a story. And like it or not, you are the author.

As uncomfortable as it is to accept, when you find yourself stuck in a rut, resisting change, lonely, unhealthy, etc., it is oftentimes you keeping yourself in that space. It’s really hard for people to change the narrative. ‘Creatures of habit’ is a saying for a reason. If you have always been the single one, or the responsible one, or the caring one, or the person overlooked and unloved, part of the problem is the story you tell yourself that says, with strong conviction, “this is just who I am.” Our brains are so good at finding patterns and they hate to take pause and believe there is another option. Cognitive dissonance is uncomfortable and breaking out of the stories we tell ourselves requires guts and courage. It requires us to push against the anxiety and fear, to believe there really is another path forward.

The voice in your head isn’t all-knowing. You can absolutely question it. You can ask it to please be quiet, or yell at it to shut up. You can challenge the thoughts that come up and pick apart their validity till you see the truth. You can call yourself out on your BS and lovingly encourage new thoughts. You can decide in any moment that you want to be different. Then, you implement steps to get where you want to be slowly and with respect for yourself. It generally never works to decide to make a complete 180 and just be someone new. Usually making changes comes with small, intentional habits and staying vigilant to call yourself out and be honest when you start to stray.

I challenge you to really take a clear-headed look at your life and see where you might be limiting yourself. I will admit that I limit myself in love and in courageously following my passions. It’s very easy to tell myself “I will never be that girl, because I never have been her.” Or to think to myself, “I am never someone people want to be with.” I challenge these thoughts often, as I have come to recognize it’s just the fear inside trying to keep me safe. As with anything we want in life, the first step is being vulnerable and admitting what we want.

Most people are scared to lose what they have, and we’re even scared to lose what we don’t have yet. What limiting stories are you telling yourself? Are you really protecting yourself by remaining the same character your entire life, or are you restraining yourself from discovering the full expression of who you could become?

With love,

Kayla