SUNSHINE AURA – poetry. short stories. community.

Milestone birthdays, making a big move, going back to school, seeing your friends get married, noticing changes in your body: all these things and more can trigger reflections on your life. Oftentimes the reflections they trigger are not positive.

How many times, when faced with some sort of shift, have you sat and reminisced on your past and felt deep regret? If you’re human (and I assume you are!), then you likely know exactly how this feels. You can even feel it in your body. Little pangs in your gut. A tightness in your chest. Constriction in your throat. Regrets of times you wished you made a different choice. Wishing you had known then what you know now. Envisioning an entirely different life for yourself. These moments of reflection are useful, but only to a degree. You should give yourself a little grace for not having the gift of foresight at the time. But it is useful to see where you wish you’d done things differently, so you can strive to change the narrative moving forward.

Our reflection today, though, is not about regret. Rather, I want you to take time this week to reflect on your wins. Think about all the times you showed up for yourself, kept a commitment, took a chance, said yes, or said no, and it paid off big time. Think of all the opportunities you did take. Those tough moments where you broke generational trauma and forged a new path. The times you had a few seconds of insane confidence and it changed your life for the better. Not all of our motivation in life needs to come from trauma or regret, or the fear to avoid experiencing those outcomes again. We can tap into the positive aspects of ourselves for inspiration when we need a little boost. We can build upon the good things we have done, block by block, and let our lives keep getting better.

Reflect on the following journal prompts this week:

1. Describe a time you experienced a major win in your life. How did you feel after the win?
2. Recall a time you chose courage over fear. What was the outcome of this choice?
3. Reflect on several times you’ve won in life. Did you have help? If you did have help, are there ways in the present you can lean on others for similar support?

It is so easy to reflect on our lives and to only highlight the losses. We can have a million good things happen, but when just one thing goes wrong, we tend to shift all our focus onto that one thing. I think this comes from a desire to avoid pain, embarrassment, and shame. We are so wrapped up in wanting to never let that happen again, or re-living it and imagining how we could have done better. Regret certainly can teach us to recognize times when we made choices that were unaligned with who we truly are, or who we are striving to become. However, the best way to keep succeeding and staying in the game is to remember the times we won. To dissect how we did it and how we can do it again. To lean on others for support and lean ourselves to stay disciplined and committed.

The next time you feel yourself glumly reflecting on all your regrets and losses, I challenge you to shift your focus to the wins. Build yourself up in an honest and graceful way. Let your own history be the source of inspiration today, and look toward the future with confidence that you can and will win again.

With love,

Kayla