SUNSHINE AURA – self-esteem. self-love. self-actualization. 

I tried so hard to be

The girl of your dreams

But honestly?

It just got to be exhausting.

Trying to be perfect —

Or at least the perfect fit.

Overextending and bending

Running myself ragged.

I molded myself into that girl

And goddamn is she hard to be.

Because that girl is always on

She’s fun and the life of any party.

She keeps it tight and is put together

Funny and charming and pleasing to see.

She catered to you like a fan

Grateful for the little crumbs you gave.

That’s a good girl, you would say.

I thought I needed to be

The kind of girl you would show off

Your little beauty queen.

And I ignored all the secrets you kept

The knowing looks you gave your friends

The way you hid your phone.

The girl of your dreams would never ask

She would never question your intentions.

The girl of your dreams would be

Nothing more than a pretty little dream.

So go and find yourself another fan

Another girl you can pretend isn’t real.

I’m not a toy

You don’t get to just play

Then drop me back to the floor.

Me? I am so, so much more

I know now that I will never be

The girl of your dreams.