Why do I want what I know will hurt me?
Sleepless nights and replaying conversations
Wondering what I must have done wrong
Yet still wishing, hoping, envisioning you coming back
Telling me you made a mistake
That you’ll be the same person you were when we started
When impressing me mattered
When effort spent to win me meant something
Before you decided I was someone – something? –
You could just discard, toss on the ground
A spoiled apple that lost it’s crispy, shiny skin
The sweet inside no longer tasty on your tongue
I try to not want you
To remind myself you’re not the right one
But in the vulnerable hours as the sun rises
Lying alone in my bed
It is hard not to allow myself just a small daydream
Just a small, teeny glimmer of wishing, hoping, envisioning.
SUNSHINE AURA - self-esteem. self-love. self-actualization. 
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