SUNSHINE AURA – self-esteem. self-love. self-actualization. 

How did we get here?

Sand in our lungs

Hands balled into fists

Thought it’d be warm here

But it never is.

 

‘Cause the shadows circle above

Blocking the light from our eyes

Targeting our backs

Hairs standing to attention

Anticipating their attack.

 

I lift my head from the dirt

And roll over to your side

Float my hand above your arm

Wanting to connect

But unsure if it will cause harm.

 

 

So I turn away from you

And I lay here and wait

Watch the vultures hunt

Try not to blink

Not even once.

 

I want to look them in the eye

Know the color of their iris

And when they make their move

Make sure that they know

I can see them too.

 

Should I try and warn you?

Or let you lie in bliss

Unaware of what’s to come?

Or do I move you and shake you

And together we can run?

 

The vultures come closer

Hungry and excited

Our hearts aren’t yet done

But they know

When something’s gone.

 

I see you stirring

You know I’m here too

But you lie still

Unwilling to turn over

They come in for the kill.

 

So even though it hurts

I stand on my own feet

I raise my hands to fight

I scream into the void

I now control their flight.

 

With my hands I send them

Towards the nothingness of the desert

And when they obey and I’m alone

You suddenly rise

You suddenly feel at home.

 

But it doesn’t work that way —

Me, fighting alone for our lives

You, leaving me to die

We, staying apart at night

Us, not letting sleeping vultures lie.

 

We hatched the vultures together

Every time that we fought

And lost ourselves in the badlands

Isolated together, yet apart.

 

I’m tired of inhaling sand

And feeling a chill in my spine

Rolling over to your side

So afraid you’re no longer mine.

 

This time I leave you

Without looking back

Chasing down the vultures

To join their pack.